A – again –
B – blank –
C – create –
D – daring –
E – end –
F – fires –
G – gossamer –
H – holiday –
I – independent –
J – jar –
K – kite –
L – listen –
M – master –
N – neglect –
O – opinion –
P – play –
Q – quarrel –
R – restore –
S – sandy –
T – torture –
U – understand –
V – value –
W – wander –
X – xeric –
Y – yesterday –
Z – zap –

It wasn’t on that dreadful day in January those years ago. It wasn’t a week or a month after that I realized what had truly happened to me. After all, there was a funeral to arrange and a wedding to prepare for. Too many things to keep my mind locked on what needed to be done next. The funeral was incredible with people standing out the door of the huge church. The limousine drove us down the 118 freeway that had been closed just for him. All of his wishes were fulfilled.

For the next two months there were flowers, invitations and linens to pick out. He had planned his daughter’s wedding with her and there wasn’t much left to do. Her big day came and played out perfectly. One month later I would be going to Las Vegas for my youngest son’s spontaneous marriage plans.
The sympathy cards stopped coming, the flowers were no more, the holidays slipped by, and the calls from friends and family were slowly coming to an end. It was hard to understand. That’s when my mind created a new place for me to live. It was on a sandy plain where my feet would sink up to my knees and each step was torture as I pulled my weight from the ground. There were rocks of different shapes and colors along the way. Each was placed just to block me from my road. I don’t know how long that was my home, but it seems that those wanderings through that xeric, baron land lasted longer than it should.

Could it have been yesterday or many months before that I began to listen to the person I used to be. She whispered in my ear that my life would be restored, that I still had value, my opinions do have worth, and this was not the end for me. The words she chose to describe me, ‘independent’ and ‘daring’ echoed through the room. Those fires that once burned within my heart to take a blank piece of paper and my pen to dance and play across the page to paint a picture with my words had been neglected far too long. They were no longer trapped inside a jar, but are ablaze again. How could I quarrel with what she said? I am the master of my future. I will decide.

In my mind I felt a ‘zap’, and I was feeling a peace I’ve never known. In a field of flowers and flowing grass, there was a breeze just strong enough to hold my butterfly kite with her gossamer wings suspended in the air.

  4 comments for “THEN AND NOW

  1. December 13, 2014 at 9:37 pm

    Wow Patty…I love your voice! Your writing engaged me from line one. Thank you ☺

    Liked by 1 person

  2. December 13, 2014 at 10:08 pm

    Very nice! I was pulled into the story from the very beginning! Great!

    Liked by 1 person

  3. December 14, 2014 at 12:28 am

    Thank you for the encouragement.


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s


Being the change in healthcare by building strong families


Inspiration through my thoughts, experiences and travels

Scribbles & Crumbs

Hope. Kindness. Faith. Love

Just the Tip

[because it tastes good]


Make This World A Better Place


from purple slob to clean queen


A Woman's Journey With Rare Disease


Outfits for every occasion


Whimsical & Capricious Chatter

A precariously critical, humorous take on life’s interactions with food and drink!


The value of those societies in which the capitalist mode of production prevails, present itself as "an immense accumulation of commodities", its unit being a single commodity --- Karl Marx

Taking it a Step at a Time

Taking it a Step at a Time - Proud Mom to an adult son with Autism

Tony A. Smith

Books News and More


Beach, Soul, and Wanderings

Love. Laugh. Sparkle.

Sometimes we lose what makes us's to finding it again

C.S. Wilde

Epic battles & love stories larger than life.


stories we tell ourselves

%d bloggers like this: